[Valentine 2014] LEONARD267 HOSTS THE VALENTINE'S DAY EVENT

The following entry has little to do with love or fairy tales. It has a lot to do with parodying and lampooning a writing event that is about love and fairy tales:



Guidelines

a) What comes into your mind when you look at your calendar only to find that today is the 14th of February? I can't read minds but if you are living in the West (sans Australasia), chances are it would be the 15th of February from where I come from. While others are celebrating this accursed festival of romance, a concept that is a vaguely defined, supposedly hormone driven, clouds what could otherwise be good judgement and potentially ruinous, I find it near impossible to celebrate that day.

The 15th of February marks a God-forsaken event that would be known to be one of the darkest events in history when a foreign invader decided to set up shop on my territory. What followed was an orgy of rape, pillage, economic devastation and endemic malnutrition. It was an occupation that can only be described as tyrannical rule if one were to be lenient. I am of course referring to the hypothetical scenario if I let these silly feelings of romance get the better of me and end up with a woman that would ruin the lives of me and many others.

Since I, leonard267, am the host of this event, this writing event will be extremely normal, never mind that many in this forum have in my opinion strange expectations of what constitutes as 'normal'.



b) Therefore, the theme of this year's Valentine event will be 'normalcy'. Normalcy refers to the feelings of megalomania coupled with the feelings of inadequacy, a constant state of anger and frustration, an irrational hatred towards romance and the young and the idealistic, a near fetish towards the old and the cynical, lack of appreciation of beautiful prose and symbolic work and a love for direct, concise and easy to comprehend essays. Quite normal, wouldn't you agree?

Allow me to state what my expectations are of normal writing. The details are in this spoiler:



Do remember to tag the title of your entry with the words [I Love leonard267's Writing] and provide the link to your entry in this thread. Doing so will inflate my already bloated ego. An example of an acceptable title is shown below:

[I Love leonard267's Writing] Title of the Entry Being I Really Love leonard267's Writing.



c) Do ask for others to correct your grammatical errors and ask other people to whine and moan excessively about your entry for this writing event! It will happen whether you like it or not, especially if a user called leonard267 is plaguing the Writing Section with his presence.



d)]FAQ

Q : Can I submit multiple entries?

A : Yes. Don't expect me to read it.

Q : How about lemons (erotic stories) and other stories depicting sexual depravity that would in all likelihood threaten human civilisation as we know it? Can we write them?

A : Yes. Don't expect me to read it. Expect me to cyberstalk you and flood your message box with written rebukes.

Q : Can I submit a poem, essay, narration, etc. rather than a story?

A : Yes. Don't expect me to read it. I will make you read my compendium of fine works instead.

Q : Can we submit fanfiction or our old works that have something to do with the theme?

A : Yes! Of course! I would read it! Anyone who is against fanfiction or completed work has a bone in his brain. Don't they know that the acts of writing fanfiction and copying and pasting take real effort?!

Q : How about the word limit?

A : There is no word limit. If you come up with a 10^5 - 10^6 word novel, don't expect me or any living soul on this plane of existence to read it.

Q: Will there be judging?

A: Of course there will be judging! I will be flooding your entries with my unbiased and impartial remarks! I would also expect like minded people to do the same. If you are asking if there would be any judges though, they won't be any. leonard267 is a lazy oaf.


e) The contest will end at 1st April 20XX (UTC +8.00) 2359hrs, April Fools. This is an apt metaphor of how any romance would end -- as a joke.



This writing event is an exercise whereby the contest organisers have their egos stroked! Why on earth would they want to spend so much money on prizes that many in the Far East can't import (and for very good reason as well) into their borders?!

In summary: Prizes?! What prizes?!

List of Entrants and their Submissions

What an interesting premises. I think I will join this contest. I especially like the Normalcy theme. I will have to write something normal just for you, leonard.

This is the funniest thing I have heard all day, Xenon. You stand to be a better comedian that I can ever hope to be.

I was trying to be as normal as possible.

Seriously, though. Where do you find all of these obscure people in these pictures? They are incredibly random.

I am interested in British politics and old men from those isles. That is where I get the pictures. I used the photos of the fictional minister Jim Hacker, portrayed by Paul Eddington in the Mudslinging Thread, and the disgraced politician Patrick Mercer for the competition.

This person however is very famous! He is the head of state of France, Francois Hollande!

I am thankful for your good sport for reading this entry of mine. I am aware that the entry lampoons you, me and everyone else! I am touched that you took the entry in your stride. It does contain my thoughts about writing events and how they are conducted and of course thoughts about events in the real world. All part and parcel of my writing style.

That said, allow me to say that your riposte to this entry is ruddy brilliant! What a way to rub it into leonard267's nose by refusing to write in the way he demands!

I don't see a picture in that thread.

Some glitch in the system. Whenever I post a topic with a picture, it disappears overnight. Your threads don't have that problem though.

The forum has become bugged in that if you edit the original top post when there is a picture, it will remove the thread picture. You must not edit the original post, or do so and add the picture to the post itself with the img html codes rather than as a thread upload.

I have written a 3000 word long story that ends with a cliffhanger in the Cesspit and in Yuuki's cafe. You may not like it.

What you said is nonsense. I enjoyed it. It may have also been nonsense, but I enjoyed it.

That said, I have your entry for you:



It seemed like such a standard day in the beginning.

I woke up, I ate breakfast, I put on my coat.

I worked another day—yet again—for a wage that I need money to pay my loans and rent.

I continuously contemplated the standard stasis of it all, how I worked yesterday and work today, and will work tomorrow.

Happy my shift had ended, and hungry, I left for home and had a snack.

My friend phoned me after which and asked if I could spend some time with him and another friend.

I did.

We played a new video game he went out and bought, and sat and talked as well, having a beer together.

I said good night, promising to spend some more time together in the near future, and then returned to my place.

Then I wrote this entry.

It seemed like such a standard day in the beginning.

The reader is left with the ultimate knowledge that it truly was.

That story was not nonsense really. It was based on xnine's winning entry snidely titled Out Xnining Xninebreaker. Needless to say high had difficulty understanding it and even I did not like it (for other reasons) after reading through it and thought that it can be improved by adding 10000 more words.

That said, your entry reads like what high_time would write. I like anything high puts on paper. I hope that there is no sexual innuendo in that account of what had happened. I enjoyed it.

Oh, I was simply kidding. It is truly a masterpiece in its own right, even if you're not satisfied (which can be a good thing if it teaches you to grow through experience). I can see how it was really similar to xnine's entry in that it was very descriptive, which I always appreciate.

I'm pleased you enjoyed it, I clearly worked very hard trying to hammer in a sense of disappointment and anti-climactic satire.

you know, I think I've written something like this before. something along the lines of metafiction, but not as profound as this.

at the first reading, it kind of left me with some mundane feelings, than I read this again and find it to be very touching. you know, like the importance of cherishing the simple things and mundane days. really well done.

===

for leonard, I also came and drop by to say that I like this entry, and I'm sorry about my rude comments on that other one. I'm simply a sucker when it comes to that type of writing.

glad you like my writings, even though it's nonsensical most of the time and so badly written.

Lol wat is tis. XD

Valentine and Normal theme... I imagine 2 people saying "I love you normally", "Yeah, I normally love you too" lawl.

Out Xnining Xninebreaker is a near impossible to read 3000 word tome that is not even completed yet! You have leonard267 to thank for. However, this entry is not called that. If you have an entry to submit for this mock event, feel free to do so. I have laid out my expectations of normalcy in detail.

I am afraid Xenon's entry is a bit off the mark where leonard267's expectations of what is normal is concerned though I enjoyed it. When will we see someone writing like leonard267?! [size=10]To be fair, there are one or two persons who did that but long ago. [/h]



I demand proper formatting for this entry! Look at Xenon's entry!

I'm sorry, leonard. Though I vow to try and write in your method at some point, this entry was merely a spur of the moment type. It isn't an honest attempt to portray your writing style.

And no, there is no sexual innuendo to be found. I think that would go against the theme of normal in my life. Probably in anyone's.

as a token of apology of what I said earlier in one of your entries, let me write something normal. every thing I write is normal so you can say I'm merely just doing my usual writing.

10/10 Winner right here.

just got that from someplace. the OP asked about their New Year Resolution and the guys just gave their monitor screen resolution lol

Plagiarism?...Tsk, tsk, tsk. high...I'm disappointed.